Kids

First Time Dads Should Know These Things Before Their Baby’s Birth

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October 28, 2022 6 minutes to read.

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There is an ongoing meme that more than half the time newlywed couple is desirous of having a child within the first year to proclaim to their extended family that they are well, healthy, and without any “defects”.

God bestowed me with the great news of the birth of my first son on the eve of 12th Rabi ul Awwal.

First I would like to thank Allah and the boys played really well. May Allah make him “Saleh” and provide the happiness of offspring to those without heirs. It is a deprivation that only a child can fulfill.

For concerned parents, we have seen there are a lot many mommy blogs. But what is it that fathers need to know before the birth of their firstborn?

A. Pray and Plan

Plan your child’s birth in accordance with the rules of Shariah. Once you decide to produce, pray a lot. Just not be sexually attracted towards your partner but also be kind towards her. The lesser stress she has, the quicker the chances of conceiving. A lot of the time parents do not talk about aphrodisiacs, but eating healthy and doing sports or any sort of exercise will do. Naturally, good aphrodisiac foods include dates and cardamom. Every time you have intercourse with your partner do a dua together and as always leave the rest to ALLAH. The appetite and sleep patterns may differ but the mood swings will be easier than PMsing days in anticipation of the good days.

B. Know the Physiology

There is just not the vagina. There is a cervix, there is a placenta. How do I know that? What are cramps? What is an amniotic sac? What are Brixton’s hicks? What is the station after engagement with the cervix? How often do the cramps occur? What are contractions? What does it feel like to your partner during the contractions? What is dilation? How dilated should it be before the final push? There are a lot of doula services that enable you to know the physiology and the kind of stakes involved during the pregnancy. To be honest, if it was not for the sake of Amani Birth, it would have been so confusing to check out all the content available on Youtube which makes the experience more complex.

READ: How to get Pakistani Citizenship for your newborn

C. Know your Doctor

The doctor plays the most vital role in making your first child’s delivery experience great or worst. If he is open to your questions like hospital policy on episiotomy (the cut they give even before the natural tear), epidurals (the drug they give to make the pains bearable), and preferences like delivery position, skin-to-skin during golden hour, etc; it definitely is a green flag. Does your doctor permit one attendant during the labor? This should be an important question. Us, we consulted three doctors to attempt a normal vaginal delivery. The doctors we did not opt for were inclined to create panic such that we could be manipulated for a Cesarian Section delivery. Interestingly, the C-Section deliveries were named after Julius Cesar.

D. The Hospital

Ultrasounds, tests, and reports. All are important to measure the growth pattern of your ward. The best idea is to avoid the “midwife” mess and go to a proper hospital. There you will have all the relevant experience. On the delivery day, you should be able to book a comfortable room after the delivery has occurred. The concept is that if it is a normal delivery you should be able to leave the hospital between six to forty-eight hours. Even not for a C-section, the hospital is ready to attempt maneuvers that may cause the baby’s heartbeat in the womb to decrease but enforce better delivery e.g. if it was a cord around the neck situation. What is more important at this stage is the availability of gadgets and devices for proper monitoring around desirable heart rates of both mother and the child. Hire a labor-delivery room if available. Dim the lights. Perform double hip compression and squats.

READ: How to get Pakistani Citizenship for your newborn

E. Readying the Baby Accessories

The hospital and its staff change shifts and routines. Know that. Once the nursery staff asks you to provide them with the baby’s accessories. Know that you will need to hand over a lot of stuff including pampers, baby feed bottles, formula milk, shampoo, and clothes including mittens, socks, shirts, trousers/pajamas. So be good friends with the staff. The well baby will be given to the mother for occasional feed upon request.

F. Retreat and Revamp

For the feeding part, avoid a lot of gatherings around the mother. Get her easy-to-wear clothes (single tones; don’t make things complex). If the mother asks to bring her makeup kit for the guests to arrive so she may look her best. Plan a baby photograph. Bring her food that suits her tastebuds but importantly the spices will effect the baby feed so be cautious about the tantrums.

G. Confectionaries

Once the birth happens, the news spreads like wildfire. Confectionaries are demanded. Pro Tip: Tip the staff including valet once during the process and once upon leaving. Remember you may be inclined to reach out to the same people you come across again and again but do tip most of them. You will be visiting with your baby for the remaining vaccination trips.

The mother needs time to recover from the stitches in case of a C-section and episiotomy/natural tear for the natural birth. In the next relevant blog, I will be talking more about hospital trips, expenditures, clearances, and tests/reports. For now, here is a list of Parenting/Motherhood Bloggers Facebook Groups:

READ: How to get Pakistani Citizenship for your newborn

Also, here is a list of Parenting Kids Pinterest Boards where you can find related stuff:

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Zorays Khalid

Kids

First Time Dads Should Know These Things Before Their Baby’s Birth

A. Pray and Plan

B. Know the Physiology

C. Know your Doctor

D. The Hospital

E. Readying the Baby Accessories

F. Retreat and Revamp

G. Confectionaries

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