Women in history have been facing tremendous barriers as they sought opportunities that would set them on an equal footing with men globally let alone in Pakistan. In most countries—rich and developing—they are going to school more, living longer, getting better jobs, and acquiring legal rights and protections. But large gender gaps remain. And women have less opportunity to shape their lives independently and make decisions than do men.

Last year, the movie of this Faysal bank supervisor was taking rounds among so many sexual harassment cases that occur each day, and also a lot of people have very toxic perspectives about the victim. As per the news, the guy not only got reported to the State Bank of Pakistan but also has been permanently banned from ever working in a bank and arrested.

Let me break down the Pakistani workplace for women:

With the ease and convenience with which the manager is seen carrying out the abuse, it’s evident that it’s been happening repeatedly and the poor girl may not be the only victim. Meanwhile, Faysal Bank execs are busy working on policies to make burqa mandatory. If they haven’t created a safe working space for women, a mere burqa is not going to cut it. Whether FB employees like it or not, the abuser’s casual demeanor while committing such a deplorable act is a reflection of the bank’s work culture. I wonder if the insistence upon the new dress code is due to an overwhelming number of sexual harassment reports. And rather than treating the underlying cause – the disgusting creeps, they’re simply covering up the women in the hope that their new policies will stop this vile, and abhorrent behavior.

Harassment in Workplace

What baffled me about all of this, is the fact that he was being filmed, and I came to the conclusion that it was probably being filmed because he had been doing it repeatedly at the time, to the same girl. Chances are the reason she didn’t react, is because it’s probably the fourth, or fifth, or the countless times he had done it. Made excuses to return to the desk and touch her every time, at which point the person filming thought it prudent to catch him in the act! Such kinds of managers deserve slap and spit on the face.

“Ask him in front of all the colleagues that what did you just do?”

Which colleagues? The same one in front of whom he is openly groping her without a concern in the world? Do you think he was scared of those colleagues finding out or was going to be embarrassed? He was assaulting her openly in front of everyone with pure impunity. That explains everything there is to understand. He was the boss and did whatever he wanted without any fear and that’s why the girl had to get the video made and out in public because inside the bank nobody dared say anything against the boss. Why is this so difficult to understand?

She must have responded

The claim was, it was certainly consensual. Women in banks know their rights. There are very strong policies in place and a lot of emphases is placed on harassment. As both of you know nothing in the world works without evidence, so she smartly created evidence. If it was consensual, she wouldn’t allow him to do it in front of other people, people have affairs in office, and they do it hidingly. She is not likely to grow a set of balls to respond against a harasser. Actually, it wasn’t consensual.

Forget consent, let’s say they are married, is it ethical to do such things in a public place? The girl clearly was under pressure so she asked her colleague to make a video because she was sure that the guy would do that again. So yeah, it was pretty obvious. If you’re a girl and respond to these things happening to you personally, please thank God you have the environment and support system to offer you that guts to do so. The majority of women fear retribution not just from the harasser, but also from their own families at home who’d blame them instead of helping them. To the people asking why she didn’t react, everyone has their own nerve level. That’s why we have laws so that the law exacts justice and not individuals, or some people would just suffer because of ignorance or lack of courage or some other economical political impediment, while others would go overboard for similar reasons.

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Fighting back, shouting, screaming is exceptional reaction in such situations. Going into a frozen zone is also a reaction for people who are frequently abused, they are frozen in front of the predators. Maybe she was scared her reaction would make a scene, maybe she was already threatened. When was the last time you responded to a senior/boss and managed to maintain your work? Additionally, she did respond, she left this movie. And amassing proof is a hundred times stronger than responding to the place. This woman is much smarter than the whole bunch of you. People who are commenting why didn’t do anything or why didn’t she react are the dumbest, ignorant pieces of shit. I think it’s irrelevant why she didn’t react, they should kick the guy out from the bank and tell him never to approach this girl. Authorities should take strict action.

She should have quit the job

Secondly, why didn’t she quit? How does quitting help improve anything? She loses her income, the criminal finds/hires another victim. We don’t need organizations or societies with emboldened criminals, we need societies and countries where criminals are punished and live in fear of punishment, under a judicial system. I think it is amazing how folks assume victims should just instantly leave the job. Such an announcement demonstrates that you encourage harassers and believe that they are entitled to continue to remain as repeat offenders. Victims will merely emerge and speak if the machinery will not attempt to attack, isolate, and blame them. Why should the victim’s livelihood suffer? To anyone who thinks she should have a “reaction”. Go and slap your boss the next time they scold you because of course, you too should have a reaction when someone misbehaves with you right?

Freezing, not reacting, or losing speech is one of the most common and FIRST responses most sexual abuse victims experience during the abuse (please look this up and do your due diligence on this) and it is a widely known fact that this is the number one psychological challenge sexual abuse victims acquire therapy for in order to understand their own brain’s lack of capacity to react at a time when a reaction was needed most. The reason for the frozen state is often explained as ‘an extraordinary trauma’ that leaves the victim almost incapacitated and incapable of even finding their own voice. If you were to ever talk to an abuse victim, they will most commonly tell you that at the time of abuse they were experiencing an ‘out of body state because their brain was trying to process the stress and trauma being caused to it.

I am honestly tired of this victim-blaming shit. I am sharing an image link for the above such people to learn more about the dilemma of sexual abuse victims so you can consider showing some empathy prior to making such insensitive remarks in the future.

A victim of harassment isn’t losing respect, she/he is losing their basic human rights. If anyone is losing respect, it’s the criminal. We need to stop expecting victims to run away from their abusers to save this notion of “respect”. It’s made cowards out of women and made them feel being abused or harassed was somehow their own fault because it wasn’t happening to each and every woman around them.

What this woman did was unbelievably clever, which explains the reason why the guy got arrested for something that he clearly does frequently. I hope you are surrounded by empathetic people because they make great friends, partners, and colleagues. Empathetic people grasp your point of view. They get how you feel and they treat you as someone truly valuable to them. We can be those empathetic listeners to people around us when we practice a few simple habits: Listen attentively, reflect head and heart, realize that saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean “I failed.” She made a video. Or asked someone to make it for her, I don’t know. All I feel is sympathy for that girl, I don’t what her life or psychological background is. If she has kids to feed, or has no family protection whatsoever or what kind of friends circle. I just don’t know. What the man did was criminal. The woman’s reaction isn’t relevant.

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