Love and respect should be the operative denominators
Ironically liberals used to blame religion and tribal culture for domestic violence. To them, misuse of religion and tribal mentality could be it. Some may argue that domestic violence has nothing to do with drug addiction or usage. Domestic violence is always about power and control. Any partner who exhibits any form of anger management issues is a red flag. In the absence of love, respect, or both, living in one’s own company could be beautiful.
Another issue is that society has internalized marriage as a solution and a success barometer that pressurizes girls into jumping into wrong decisions. Sara was from the best-rated Canadian university and had a stellar international career, could have led a wonderful solo flight. Companionship, love, and respect somehow get diluted in the need for validation and peer pressure as a successful married girl, pushing girls to put up with so much nonsense.
Success to me isn’t being popular in a boisterous company which internally makes one uncomfortable because the value systems might not be consistent. It’s so important to understand that whether it’s a marital relationship or just friends, till one is completely happy, it’s better to be happy with one’s own hobbies, activities, and spirituality.
Marriage is beautiful but unfortunately I lost trust in marriage- it has no meaning to me anymore. To me now having survived an abusive marriage; love and respect are the needs in a healthy relationship. Forgiveness and gratitude give you the patience to be alone and enjoy your own company. I indulge in adventures all on my own. Very comfortably I can go for fine dining on my own. I seek relationship for companionship. Alhamdullillah I am financially independent, I seek relationship in which I feel emotionally safe and protected. In short, from my experience, emotional and physical safety are far more important than financial dependence on man.
Not to be named
To be comfortable in one’s own company is not something that can be taught. This programming starts at a very young age. I can be wrong. I feel it comes when you are able to follow your heart, regulate your own emotions and accept yourself and forgive yourself for letting someone abuse you. Indeed that’s a harsh reality but through moral support from family, this can be made possible!
